This Can't Be Unseen

My heroes over at Radar Online got their hands on some naked pictures of Amber Portwood from Teen Mom. They were nice enought to share them with the world.

Now I realize Amber has lots a bunch of weight, and must look a lot better nekked than she used to, but no good can come of this. Listen to me closely teen girls of America: nothing good happens when you take naked pictures of yourself. Nothing. All that happens is they end up in the wrong hands and the entire world sees them. (Dont' believe me? Look at the picture above. Do you think she intended for anyone to see that?)

Amber Portwood is the Brittiney Spears of the Teen Mom world. Somebody help this girl before we all go blind.

Maci, What Have You Done?!?!

Maci is one of my favorite Teen Mom's. She snagged a hot guy to be her baby-daddy (even if he does yawn too much). She seems to be a great mom. I've always thought she had a great head on her shoulders. But then I saw this atrocity:

WTF????

Now, I am not against tattoos by any means. I love me a good tattoo. "Good" being the operative word here. Something tells me little Bentley (Bint-Lee?) got his hands on a tattoo gun and went to town on mama's back. I'm going to assume that this design has something to do with her last name, which is reportedly Bookout. But that page is rippped out of a notebook, and the Os is book have been replaced with cupcakes. Who? What? I can't even make sense of this nightmare of a tattoo. Somebody help me out here.

There Are No Words...

I. Am. Speechless.

I Miss Butch

I miss Caitlin and Tyler. They are my favorite MTV couple ever. I have been rooting for them since their 16 and Pregnant days. I can't even make fun of them because I love them so much. I want them to win at life!

I also love them because Butch and April come with them. First of all, Tyler and Caitlin are step-siblings. MTV has seriously disappointed me by neglecting this fact. Second, Butch is like a fucking cartoon character. There are so many things wrong with this guy that I would need a whole blog just to write about him. I dont' know what I love more: the mullet, the tattoos, the criminal record... ooooh! it gives me the shivers!

I'm not up to date on such things, but I sincerely hope that the original Teen Mom is returning for another season. I would be so happy if they replaced Gary and Amber with Butch and April. That would be my dream come true.

Farrah's Growin Up

Farrah Abraham is one of my favorite Teen Moms. Mostly because she has mastered the ugly cry. I honestly can't tell if she's really crying or if she's juicing it up for the camera's. She's that good.

In all seriousness I do feel for her. The father of her child died when she was still pregnant. I can't imagine what that must be like, especially when you're so young.

What I also can't imagine is how she lives with her mother. HOLY NIGHTMARE! The voice alone gives me chills. And why does she always talk in a baby voice?

But I digress.

Imagine my surprise when I flip open a magazine and see little Farrah all grown up.

Two things immediately came to mind: Damn! and Holy Implants!

She's got a killer bod, but why is she making the ugly-cry-face when she's not even crying?